Vive Les Frenchies!

Things were less than stellar in Hong Kong for the first two months (see On Edge). School was overwhelming and that brought on other worries about my current situation and the future. In the past three weeks things have turned drastically for my favor. I gave up on trying to change things at school and learned how to just show up and have fun with my kids. My friends and I enjoy each other more now that we don’t have dramatic situations at work and instead are strengthening our friendships on other basis. The future looks bright.

This weekend was certainly one of the most enjoyable I can remember thus far. I spent time with my good friends here and even met a great new group of people afaffectionatelyeferred to as 'The Frenchies'. Andrew plays on a few soccer teams in town and on Thursday I met some players from the French team. They are all right at our age and are loads of fun. They fulfill every French stereotype in the book. From ‘ze way dat dey speak’ to the wavy-haired guy from Bordeaux with a sweater tied around his neck.

I haven't spent much, if any, time in my life around the French so my Southern grown ideals about them are certainly askew. I learned something about the real French this weekend and they are one of the most fun groups of people I have ever been around. I laughed so hard with them that I may have developed a hernia.

Most of my new amis will be here the entire time I am in Hong Kong and I am so grateful for so many new friends. I’m sure that there are many great times to come and a plethora of stories to tell.

Macau

Andrew and I took the ferry to Macau this weekend to watch the Grand Prix. Many claim that Macau is on a fast track to replace Las Vegas as the gambling capital of the world. If the Chinese economy keeps growing at this pace, I bet it will be there within ten years.

Saturday night we checked out a few of the new casinos in town including the new Wynn, but couldn't afford to stay there. We ended up at the Sands and lost a little money on black jack before we headed for our cave at the Best Western.

On Sunday morning we had a cold, yet free breakfast at the hotel and headed to the race. We didn't know anything about the event, but thought it would be fun. At noon when we showed up they were racing the BMW's and Opel hatchbacks you might see at the grocery store. Regardless, they were loud and fast. After that there was a classic motorcycle parade, a lion dance and then the F3 race. Those cars were twice as loud and extremely fast.

The race was exciting and we enjoyed ourselves in the stands. I'm not sure if I'll go back to Macau for awhile though. There are many greater cities in Asia and I plan to see most of them.

The Air in Stanley

Coming to Hong Kong, one of the factors I was most concerned about was the climate. I had heard it was hot and humid and I dreaded moving back into a Houston-esque sweatbox. I have been here for almost three months now and the weather is super. The temperature has barely budged from 85 degrees and the humidity is far from overwhelming.

On Sunday, I put on my shorts and T-shirt and pondered the greatness of the weather that day as I set out for the beach. On the other side of Hong Kong Island are some scenic beaches with ex-pat filled luxury apartments looming over them. I headed for a certain area known to the tourists as Stanley Market. It was a typical street market filled with knockoff clothing and souvenir knick-knacks. Along the coast there is a new board walk being built with some nice restaurants lining the strip. Lauren and I had some wine and mussels and watched the sun set over the mountains.

It was another long and pleasant weekend in Hong Kong. They keep saying the air will get cooler soon, but everything feels fine right now.

Slouch

No one is sure why, but we all ended last week in a great mood. Part because there were no bad news meetings or teacher uprisings. It could also be insanity. Whatever the cause, I walked out of school Friday feeling great. I’ve been having a lot of fun with my kids and they enjoy me being in the classroom. I’m not teaching them a single thing, but school isn’t all about learning.

Most of the students in the school have an English name, but there are a few who only go by their Chinese name. One kid, Tam Ho Yin, is constantly running circles around my class and I get really sick of yelling “Tam Ho Yin, SIT DOWN!!!” over a hundred times a day. My voice can’t bear the syllables. So, on Friday I gave him his nickname.

He is the tallest boy in class and very lanky. In lines he is constantly bending over and twisting into different pretzel shapes to get rid of some energy. It was obvious to me that his English name should be ‘Slouch’.

Andrew helped me teach him his name and by the end of class on Friday, Slouch was responding to his new English alias. I tested him again this morning and I think it stuck.

Its making differences like this in children’s lives that gets me out of bed in the morning. In fifty years, Tam Slouch will be the president of China and you will all think of me.

A Funky Translation

Yesterday Andrew spent quite some time quieting his class. He has one student named Johnson who is a real troublemaker and is always talking. After Andrew finished yelling at Johnson, he muttered something under his breath in Cantonese that caused the class to gasp. Andrew asked the class many times what Johnson said, but no one wanted to translate the foul phrase.

After class was over, a boy walked up to Andrew and whispered that he knew what Johnson’s words meant in English. Andrew asked what they meant and with two fingers pointed and his arm moving in a swooping uppercut motion, the student shouted across the school, “Funk yo mothah!”

* * *

In a related story, my class took a field trip to the Museum of Medical Sciences today. In one room there were thank you notes from another school stuck to the wall. I was browsing through the notes when I found a rogue that missed the censor's eyes.

On Edge

Things have been very tense at work lately. Almost every English teacher at this school feels that they were duped into taking this position. When I accepted the job, I was told I would teach no more than three hours per day. The first day of school they told me I was a Math teacher with my own class of first graders and that I wouldn’t even have and English class to teach.

Over the past month, everyone has been logging at least 50 hours of work per week including Saturdays. I am the only one who hasn’t work on a weekend yet, but I also have possibly the most difficult position of any English teacher.

This led to a lot of stress for the teachers and tension with our boss. Last week we began to take a stand and probably gave our boss the worst week she has ever experienced. We simply told her that we weren’t happy and regretted taking this position. I explained how I felt lied to and what she needed to do to make things better before everyone started walking out. A few people refused to show up for their Saturday duties without being compensated for the extra hours, which I believe was a good move.

This week, things are much better. I believe the Saturday duties will be eliminated after everyone has worked six. We should also be getting some help in the classrooms from Chinese teachers since many of our students don’t understand English at all.

I was hoping for an easy year of teaching a few hours a day while enjoying life in Asia. However, this job is very sickening sometimes and I vow never to teach again. With all of that said, I’m not sure I’d rather be anywhere else right now. I love Asia and I have made some great friends at this job. Our relationships have flourished through these first six weeks of work as we persevered together and supported each other. I have gained so much in Hong Kong already and can’t wait to see what happens in the future.

'The Jews'

At quiz night on Wednesday, we had an accidental antisemitic moment. The questions are delivered over the bar noise by an expat emcee with a thick English accent. The category, Famous People; the question, "Who created the Mars bar?"

I immediately responded with 'the Mars family' which was of course the correct answer. However, Andrew heard an entirely different question. Through the emcee's accent, Andrew heard, "Who created the maza bah?" and interpreted this to be something Yiddish. Without even consulting his team, Andrew wrote 'Jews' on our answer sheet.

I was pretty sure my answer was right, but he wrote with such conviction that I figured Andrew knew something about candy bars that I didn't. I let the answer remain and we turned it in.

When the correct answers were announced, Andrew scratched his head trying to understand 'The Mars Family.' We discussed our thinking and he realized he had just committed a very taboo sociological blunder.

We fared decently this week on the trivia, but our reputation has surely been tarnished by our disdain for the Jewish ties to chocolate.

Mid-Autumn Festival

One month in Hong Kong and we’ve already had two national holidays. This weekend was the Mid-Autumn Festival, which is the equivalent to the American Thanksgiving because most people travel to be with families and spend some time together.

There aren’t any big feasts or football, but there was a giant party at the end of my street with over 100,000 people. The entire park was decorated with paper lanterns and every kid makes a lantern each year and runs around with it on the festival night.

There were your basic Chinese entertainers; a woman contortionist that balanced a tray of wine glasses on her chin while she twisted into various pretzel shapes, a goofy looking man that wishes he could sing in Vegas, but his career only took him as far as public venues with crowds in the hundreds that stop while passing to see if his chin beard is real, and a dance troop dressed in ancient Chinese clothing that dances to Asian hip-hop.

We also ate moon cakes all week. The Hong Kongers love these things, but I haven’t met a single Westerner that can stand them. It’s a small cake that looks yummy, but its dry and the filling is either a semi-sweet vegetable like lotus or its filled with multiple egg yolks. I tried about five different types and couldn’t finish one.

Every night in Hong Kong there is a giant light display on the harbor. All of the big skyscrapers are decorated top to bottom with bright lights and at eight o’clock the lights dance and the entire skyline goes crazy with lasers and spot lights. I just moved into my real apartment this weekend and I sat on my bed last night to watch the light show from my room. I forgot it was a holiday and there ended up being a thirty minute fireworks display in front of my building. It was a nice welcome to the neighborhood gift from the city.

When You're Talking in Your Sleep

I don’t know what’s going on in my head, but these kids must really be getting to me. Last night, for the third time in a month, I found myself sitting straight up in bed at 4am and instructing my students. I say things like, “Harold. Harold! You need to sit-down.” I’ve also warned my students that they shouldn’t be in my apartment while I’m asleep. After I realize what I'm doing, I usually shake my head in bemusement, but also signaling to my students that their behavior should stop. I fall back to sleep quickly only to remember what happened in the morning and wonder if I should be on any sort of medication.

I am becoming a little weary of my psychosis. I wonder how long it will be until I walk into Andrew’s room in the middle of the night and shout, “Andrew, stop talking and sit at your desk before I call your mother!” Even worse, I might actually make the call home.

Convenient Lyrics

Everyday there's a boy in the mirror
asking me, What are you doing here?
Finding all my previous motives
are growing increasingly unclear.

I've travelled far and I burned all the bridges
I believed as soon as I hit land.
All the other options held before me
will wither in the light of my plan.

Homesick by The Kings of Convenience