A Delightfully Lazy Weekend

Amazingly, it has almost been five months since I made my big move up here to NYC. Time has passed so quickly, I've had close to no downtime at all. That's why this weekend was so welcomed. It seems like every weekend someone is in town to visit which obligates me to show them around and spend extra money on a nice dinner and walk the streets until our feet turn blue. Finally, this weekend was just about me.

After work on Friday I got to hang out with Kari for a few hours enjoying my favorite leisure activity, sitting in Starbucks and drinking coffee. We both slouched down in our seats and talked about all of the weirdo NYU students hanging out with their professors on the weekend. A crime I never committed. Saturday, I slept until I could sleep no more. Then, for the first time since mid-December, Collin and I went to the grocery store. Notably, we've both lost a combined 13 pounds since our last trip when we bought egg-nog for the holidays. But don't worry, that was gained back at the Super Bowl. After the grocery store, I went to a 'birthday party' on the Upper West Side. The details are strage but I'll just say that we were the youngest people there by about twenty years. Sunday, more sleep. Around four o'clock I began cooking for our party we had. Around fifteen people showed up for the free food and beverages, but mostly to see our enormous TV Collin 'rented' for the weekend. He bought a 42 inch plasma to watch the game on and plans to take it back this week for a full refund.

Next weekend I plan to do even less. I receive such satisfaction from wearing my pajamas until the sun goes down. I almost wish I could spend one entire day of each weekend in my apartment, but that qualifies as a misdemeanor when you live in New York.

Trivial Hell

Tonight over dinner Collin and I decided it would be fun to play a friendly game of Trivial Pursuit. We started at roughly 10:30 and I whooped him in the first two games which was to be expected. It is currently 4:01 AM and I am suspending the third game due to my comatised state of mind. For future reference, whenever anyone says, "Just one more." to anything, say, "Hell No!" and run away as fast as you can.

Good night.

to marry or nay?

These are some excerpts from an article on the benefits of marriage which appeared in last week's Time magazine.

Eternal love, the creation of a new family, the approval of society—whatever. What I really wanted to know three years ago before I proposed to Cassandra was, Will marriage make me happier? Little did I know that teams of scientists around the globe were asking themselves the same question, which made me wonder just how easy it is to score a grant. What they have found is that marriage guarantees you almost nothing extra—not health, not happiness. All it really gets you is higher-count bedsheets. And I would sleep on 80-grit sandpaper for a night of bachelorhood.

People have long believed that being unmarried makes people unhappy. Entire Victorian novels, children's card games and phone calls with Jewish moms are built on this assumption. But a long-term study released in 2003 shows that marriage doesn't necessarily make people one bit happier.

That's the conclusion of Richard Lucas, a psychology professor at Michigan State University who dedicated himself to crunching the data from 15 years of interviews of more than 24,000 Germans. Using a complex gauge of happiness that many people know as "Rate yourself from 0 to 10," he discovered that couples upped their scores in the first blush of matrimony. But the ratings quickly subsided to where they were before the wedding.

Before marriage, the study subjects on average rated themselves 7.28. Their happiness then ratcheted up to 7.56 around wedding day. But two years into the marriage, they retreated to 7.28. My wife and I consider ourselves 8.5s but concede that if we were stuck in Germany with some psychologist calling us with annoying questions for 15 years, we would be 7.28.

Marriage, however, does make total losers—the lonely and friendless among us—a little happier, since greater social interaction is one of the few proven ways to increase your life satisfaction. "It's kind of like if you're poor—you can get a lot more out of a million dollars,'' Diener explains. "But marriage isn't going to add as much if you're not lonely." In other words, marriage does the most for socially maladjusted freaks, who wouldn't have any friends or get any action otherwise.

Not only is wedlock unlikely to make me happier, but my health could falter if my relationship does. Psychologists, having previously shown that stressed-out people are more vulnerable to illness, couldn't tell if their hardships were causing the sickness or if the sickness was worsening their stress. So an Ohio State University study rounded up 90 young, happy, healthy, stress-free newlywed couples and decided to ruin their good time. Researchers put couples in a room and had them discuss the core issues they most disagreed about: babies, money, campaign-finance reform. The researchers videotaped them, hooked them to IVs and drew blood at scheduled intervals, both to get firm scientific measurements and, undoubtedly, to stress them out even more.

The only sure benefit of marriage that scientists have been able to prove is that it will lower my odds of committing a violent crime, which really is less a benefit for me than for my potential victims...All this really proves to me is that marriage numbs your desire to do anything.

In a study published last May, psychology professors James McNulty of Ohio State and Benjamin Karney of the University of Florida found that people with the highest expectations for wedded bliss often set themselves up for the steepest declines in happiness. Which only seems fair, because those people are the most annoying.

In a paper released last spring, David Blanchflower of Dartmouth College and Andrew Oswald of the University of Warwick found that married people have more sex than single people. Why they don't tell you that beforehand, instead of focusing on that honoring and obeying stuff, is beyond me.

So there you have it, scientific facts charting the benefits of marriage, or lack thereof. Save for that fact that I'm not getting any "action," I think I'll maintain my single status for now until I come to the realization that I am a socially maladjusted freak without any friends and marriage is my only hope.

More Gayness

This is an adendum to my earlier blog 'Gay Week'. Last night Andrew and I were hanging out and a guy tapped me on the shoulder to tell me something. Instead of telling me that his girlfriend thought I was cute, he kissed me on the head. That's not even the funny part. When I turned around, Andrew was so jealous that he refused to speak to me the rest of the night. You see, I stole Andrew's seat and got the stranger lovin' and Andrew went home emotionally bankrupt.

Thanks for the kiss, Roger.

Woody and Bob

Everyonce in awhile I spot someone in a movie or hear about them from someone and I become intrigued by who they are. For instance, I saw a trailer for a Woody Allen movie once and I just loved the idea for the movie. I feel like I identify with the same guy he plays in all of his films so I decided that I would watch all of his films and fall in love with the director and all of his work and become a Woody fanatic. Unfortunately, most of his films suck. Some are decent and I was able to finish them but others left me comatised. I really want to be a Woody Allen fan, but sorry, its just not working out.

Another person who I think is cooler that cool is the free wheelin', Bob Dylan. I have a lot of his music and I do appreciate it. He did a lot for the music world and most guitarists wish the could attribute their influence to him, although they are lying and really grew up listening to crappy Nirvana and later John Mayer albums. Right now I'm reading the Bob Dylan Chronicles: Volume 1. It talks about how he moved to the West Village when he was still a teen and got his start in many of the bars I pass everyday when I walk through the Village. I like to point these places out to friends as sacred landmarks but they don't really care.

I think more people of our generation should look outside of the mainstream culture they are familiar with to see where there interests really lie. Whether movies, music, literature, art or anything else that may interest one person; it can strike someone else as gold too. So Woody, no matter how crappy your movies may be, you're still gold in my book. And Bob, even though you act like a tool in your middle aged years, you were the coolest teenager of the '60's and for that, I thank you.

My Bloody Clos du Bois

I've always been a stickler for personal space. What's mine is mine and yours is yours. I remember when i was a kid sharing a bedroom with my little brother. I hated how his stuff would be scattered about and my things were in the places they belonged. I spent hours devising a plan to divide the room in two sides. I even tried to put tape on the floor for a visible divider but then I couldn't leave the room because the door was on his side.

When I got to college, I had a different set of room mates every year. I had to learn how to live with other people and deal with their, as I saw it, disrespectful lifestyles. Other people's crap was scattered all around the house. Shoes under the coffee table, book bags on the kitchen counter. And the infamous kitchen sink overflowing with dirty dishes. I would try my hardest to let the dishes pile up until someone other than myself cracked down and washed them. However, my plan worked on no one but myself as I was always the one doing the dishes.

One house habit I was able to institute was the separation of groceries. I knew that there would be no chance of food being shared fairly if it was anything goes. None of my roommates would ever go to the grocery store if I was going on my regular trips and allowing others to share. Because of this, we all did our own shopping and didn't borrow from each other unless we asked to. This brings me to the issue of my story.

In November, Ryan and Laura flew in from San Francisco to see me. They were thoughtful enough to bring me a bottle of wine as a house warming gift. This bottle of Clos du Bois has sat in my fridge since then, virtually tagged with my name, waiting to be opened for a special occasion. Well, Collin's ex-girl friend is in town this weekend I he decided that this was a special occasion so they opened it and drank it for dinner. I know that Collin has never bought a bottle of Clos du Bois in hislife so there is no way he could have confused it for his own... How does someone think they can take something like that and use it without replacing. Given, if he had opened a package of saltines and shared it with her, I wouldn't mind. But that's my bloody Clos du Bois you're drinking!

There is nothing I can do. I just need to relax and let it be. I managed to fill half a glass while they ate. Man, its good. I'm now going to finish my meager share of Ryan's gift and then go to bed and forget the whole thing.

(sigh)

Begin: Phase II

I went back to work today and started my first shift as an offical "Shift Manager." Unfortunately, plans for my next promotion were stalled when I found out my District Manger was no longer with Starbucks. I was relying on her to move me up quickly but now I'll have to kiss someone else's butt.

After work, I walked to Soho and met Andrew. We went to the Corner Bistro and sat for a couple hours. We ate hamburgers and enjoyed a few beers while we caught up from our breaks. Sitting there after work on a Monday, I was reminded about how much I love this city. Andrew and I both enjoyed our time away from home while with our friends in Texas. To us, it was a time to step back and reflect on our recent months in the City. I was able to evaluate my time here and make some adjustments for what we called Phase II. I decided to further embrace my bachelorhood because someday these opportunities will be gone and I don't want to miss them. We also decided to crank our fun factor down one notch on the weekends because we've done a little too much partying a few times, regretfully. I'm still all about McSorley's on Friday night, but a line will definitly be drawn and not crossed.

So anyway, I'm glad to be back in town for New York: Phase II. There is much fun to be had. Hopefully I will have a job to pay for it all. Come join me somtime.

Back to Reality

Doesn't it seem like the holidays go on forever? This go around was especially long. Thanksgiving was great becuase it was spent with friends and then Christmas sucked because I spent it alone. Then, I went to Amarillo for a wedding on New Year's Eve (less than stellar). Finally, I was allowed 6 days with my family for a belated Christmas. I didn't have much downtime though becuase everyone knew I was in town and wanted to spend time with me. After a good week with my family I went baaaack to Amarillo for yet another wedding. Both were fun, but I am really glad to get them over with.

This was my first time away from the city since I moved here. Many would think a
break from the city would be refreshing but I really missed it over the last few days.
I've been anxious to get back to my apartment and go to work this week. I'm addicted
to the excitement I guess and need to hear some cars honk their horns at me too. So
tomorrow I'm back to the daily grind. A peek at my bank account tonight brought me
back into reality too. I'm hoping for that promotion soon...

Shitty Christmas

In case you were wondering, holidays suck away from home. No matter how cheesy your family gatherings get, you will miss them when you’re gone. This is my first Christmas away from home and it sucks. I miss how my dad wakes us up early, and even though we’re all 17 and older, he makes us wait in the hall while he sets up the camera so that when we walk into the living room he can record our reactions to what Santa brought us. Okay, maybe I didn’t miss that. But, when I saw pictures my brother took this morning and knew I missed Christmas, I got depressed. That seemed to be the featured emotion of the weekend.

Christmas Eve - My first day off since Thanksgiving

I slept until noon, which was awesome. Collin took me to some Japanese supermarket that he loves. I bought some sake and some fresh tuna to make sushi later this week. Afterwards I went into the city to walk around and see the sights. I walked through the Village, Soho, and Little Italy where they have Christmas decorations everywhere. Then I took the train uptown where Fifth Ave. was packed with tourists as usual. All of the stores were closed so I don’t know where they were going. Then again, neither did they. I started to get hungry and decided to treat myself to a steak dinner. I knew I really deserved it so I went to Ruth’s Chris, one of the best steaks in the city. I ordered the 16 ounce New York Strip and a glass of Montgras Quattro. I’m proud to say that my dinner cost over $70 and was well worth it. Stuffed, I left the restaurant and walked towards the subway to head way uptown to a friend’s family Christmas party. On the sidewalk a homeless guy started walking with me and asked for some money, even though he was eating fries out of a McDonald’s bag I gave him one measly dollar and kept on. He told me merry Christmas and replied “Don’t forget why its Christmas.” About ten seconds later he yelled up the sidewalk, “Its because of Jesus!” All I could yell back was, “and don’t forget it!” Then I just wanted to cry. In this city that removes every ounce of truth from the holiday, only a guy on the street knows the meaning of the day. That was maybe my favorite moment from this weekend.

I got on the train and headed to 175th street. Vanessa and Theresa from Starbucks invited me to Vanessa’s family Christmas party. It was like no holiday party I’ve ever experienced. I got there close to 10 pm and was an early arriver. Her uncles, aunts and grandmother all showed up later. Things didn’t really kick off until midnight when they opened presents. By this time, Pops was drunk and everyone else was on their way. I sat in the corner and acted like I was drinking a Corona. Vanessa’s parents are Ecuadorian and Puerto Rican so the house was speaking half English and half Spanish. We ate South American cuisine as they opened presents. The classic moment was when her dad unwrapped his mini-fridge and cried. It was a touching moment for all the drunken people in the room. Unfortunately, I was still sober and wanted to leave. A little bit later, Theresa and Vanessa both handed me presents. They didn’t want me to feel bad because I didn’t have a present but it was quite the contrary. There are few things in this world that make me more depressed than a bad gift, and I received two of them at once. Vanessa gave me the movie ‘Night Shift’ with Michael Keaton. There is one good line in that movie and the rest is dreadful. It got worse when I unwrapped Theresa’s favorite book which she bought me, ‘Make Love like a Porn Star” the autobiography of Jenna Jameson. I was ruined. Soon after, at 1:45 AM, I was the first guest to leave the party. When I sat down in the empty subway station, I listened to the rats squeaking on the tracks, examined my gifts and wanted to cry myself to sleep. An hour later when I walked up to my front porch, I noticed Collin’s car right in front of the house with the hazard lights blinking. It looked like he had parked there in a hurry and planned to leave soon because the nose was jutting way out into the street. As it turns out, in the evening he came home for something and meant to go run a quick errand but Collin got sidetracked and forgot about his car. When he woke up the next morning, his car battery was dead and he had a parking ticket.

Christmas Day – Loneliness Sucks

When I woke up, it was 12:30 and that felt great. I had a ticket to see ‘The Life Aquatic’ at 1:30 so I put on jeans and a sweatshirt and headed back into town. The movie was pretty good but not as much as I had expected. Afterwards, I came home and drank half a carton of eggnog. Collin wanted me to come to his mom’s house around nine o’clock to hang out with his friends but I was hesitant after the previous night’s events. After sitting around the house though, I decided to give it a shot. However, my timing was off and I wasn’t able to buy a ticket in time to catch the next bus, so back home I went. That actually worked out well because Collin came home about an hour later. He gave me a pretty sweet Christmas present. I knew he liked to buy things for people and I hoped he wasn’t getting me anything because I had nothing to give. He had been thinking about it for a few months though and it was cool. I unwrapped the heavy package and found every newspaper from September and October that chronicled the Red Sox journey through the playoffs and ultimately to a World Series victory. It means even more coming from a conceding Yankees fan. I was thrilled and felt bad for not buying anything for him. Later on in the evening we enjoyed some wine and cherry pie while we played NHL ’93 on his old Sega we had just hooked up in our living room. I got stomped but it was a blast.

Just as I had always known, aside from the actual story of Christmas, the holiday is about being with family and friends, not about getting gifts and partying like some people do. I may not have been with my family and friends, but they all called me this weekend or talked to me online and that meant so much to me. I was definitely lonely this weekend and the weird turns of events only made me feel worse, but at least I know that next week I will see my friends and family and be able to celebrate with them the birth of Christ. Merry Christmas everyone, and don’t forget it!

Christmas Eve Eve

I am very tired. I checked my calendar this week and I haven't had a day off of work since Thanksgiving. Yikes. I finished my shift tonight at work and began my holiday weekend by coming home for rest. I haven't had a chance to totally soak in the Christmas mood yet but tonight was a good event. I got home about the same time as Collin and his friend Chuck. We had homemade peanut butter cups and had some Guiness while Chuck played the guitar. When he played 'Christmas Song' by Dave Matthews, it all sank in about Christmas. New York has displayed the epitome of commercializing the season to me this year. All I have seen and heard about is shopping for gifts and nothing even remotely religious. One thing that has really bothered me is the abbreviation 'X-mas'. Is it really that tiresome to include 'Christ' in a label. If nothing else, lets call it 'Christ-x'.

Anyway, when Chuck played the song, all of the worldly garbage about the holidays melted away and really felt the spirit of Christmas. It was a great chance to listen to the Christmas story and be thankful for God's gift. Merry Christmas and don't forget what we are celebrating.